


The Rubi... can't Protocol

by Dormammu



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Civil War (Marvel), Evil Plans, Fluff and Angst, Foiled Again, Humor, M/M, Past Relationship(s), and a horsey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 12:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5289866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dormammu/pseuds/Dormammu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's plan for capturing Steve and Bucky is awesome and not at all convoluted and has nothing to do with Steve breaking his heart, nuh-huh!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rubi... can't Protocol

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I wrote to cheer myself up after the Civil Whut trailer.

So that was how it's going to be, thought Tony watching them, planning his next moves. Cap and his friend were moving fluidly, throwing the shield among themselves, dealing punches, dodging each repulsor blast like it was something they did on a daily basis, no biggie. Together... Tony would enjoy the show, really, throw some popcorns into the microwave, lie back and relax, were it not for the fact that this synchronized ass-kicking performance was 100% aimed at his own ass. How did it come to this? He shut that line of thought down as soon as it appeared. He knew how. There was no need for a "best of" flashback episode, especially not now. Another blow came and this time he almost felt it himself, it was a big one. He checked the readings and what he saw would've surprised him once. As a matter of fact, just couple of months ago he would've said "No freaking way! Steve wouldn't!". But the readings didn't lie and according to them, Cap just used his shield to crack his helmet. The hit was one of those that would've made Jarvis' voice wobble in the old days. Big mistake Steve, another one for the home team. Now the jig was up though, the cat out of bag... The time was of the essence. His heart was pounding and why wouldn't it? In a few moments everything was going to be over. And by now he knew well what exactly entailed this "everything". Whom he was losing forever. Or better yet, who had made his choice and once again Tony was left standing on the opposite side. Tony steeled himself, his heart was not some sad bird bashing its head on bars of a cage, or some poetic shit like that. Tony's heart was an engine, a V12! He shut down the live video feed.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, OK the Rubicon protocol."

"Are you sure Tony?" Her lovely voice was not wobbling though.

"Yes. Time to suit up."

  
\---

He could hear their voices reverberating through the hallways, they did not sound happy. Good. The scene was, would've been priceless, You Tube millions of views kind of stuff, Tony decided why not:

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, record video"

Steve was holding the empty suit, his cowl was off, face flushed, there was a distant look in his eyes. The Winter Soldier, James Bucky Barnes, also known as "Steve's only real friend" was pacing, saying something, but Tony was still too far to hear what. They hadn't noticed him yet either. Tony took a deep breath.

"It's over, wonder boys," Iron Man said in his mechanical voice. "The place is surrounded by best and brightest soldiers from 5 continents, your little show gave them time to cover every nook and cranny. You will do this the easy way."

Tony prepared for this of course, still he found himself gritting his teeth, not sure enough in his ability to deliver the next lines. Luckily there was a pre recorded message. While Steve was called The Man With The Plan, Tony should've been called The Man Whose Plans Have Plans. He turned it on and watched Steve's face as it explained all the intricacies and incredible weapon power of Tony's armor, how the other suit scanned them both from head to superjuiced toes while they played Rock 'em Sock 'em with his robot, and that his friend's arm is pretty much an arm shaped missile magnet now. And if that doesn't prevent Steve from doing something stupid here are some other factoids for his amusement because Tony was not joking about 5 continents' best and brightest, starting with America's own. The recording-Tony was currently waxing poetical about Tanya Morris: GI, a chess master, volleyball captain and a once winner of a state wide robotics competition, all in a calm, matter-of-factly manner. Steve was looking at Tony, Bucky at Steve, then at Tony, and Tony could hear him calculate his odds, this was not good. And then it happened, in a split second, Winter Soldier advanced toward Tony and had him by the throat with his bionic arm. Fuck he's strong Tony thought as the guy smashed him against a concrete wall. The look on the man's face was feral. Damn recording was still doing the talking however, now extolling virtues of one Frank Peterson, father of three and a damn great tactician, deployed 3 times, medals, etc. Tony shut it off.

"Now don't be stupid Barnes," he said in his calmest voice. "This is the real thing, not a mannequin you can go to town on."

"Let him go Buck." He heard Steve say somewhere from his left. Winter Soldier let Tony go and wow, the guy had been holding him at least 10 inches off the ground, with one hand. Tony was a little impressed.

"So it's Buck now?" he said mockingly, unable to help himself. It hurt, it fucking did! All he ever got was "Stark" said through teeth. Even that time they... No, not going there now! "Was Bucky too long, too hard to pronounce?"

"Shut up!" And he was glaring at Tony. _Steve_ was glaring at _him_. "Nice one, setting everything up like this. I'm glad we have good guys like you on top of it."

"You really are precious Steve, you know?" Tony said.

"And you can put on a nice show, Stark. Which is all you're good for."

"Now we both know that's some extreme bending of truth. And while we're at extreme bending..."

"SHUT UP!"

"Fine Steve, since you've designated yourself the PR of this assassin duo, how about you say it? Say: 'I give up, we'll give ourselves in'? Then we can all go home and this... nightmare can finally be over?"

"And you yourself will take us to prison?"

"Into custody? Yes Steve. Laws must be obeyed, states must state and so on. I thought you of all people were well versed in the rule of law thing?

"No." And Tony knew that cold look, Steve was assessing his chances, getting ready to attack. Once upon a time he thought that look sexy as heck.

"No?" Tony sighed. "Ok Steve, so it's gonna be the hard way?"

As it happened, "hard way" was also a special password for what happened next, all Tony's weapons, except the secret ones that is, came on-line.

"Impressed, Steve?" Tony tried not to sound too gleeful though. "See the star shaped missiles with the blue and white head? I designed them with you on my mind. One of these can blow a tank to million tiny smithereens. Kind of, no, exactly like what you did to my heart."

"Don't." Steve warned him, while Bucky looked confused, maybe even a bit sad, his shoulders almost looked ready to sag. He looked defeated, that was definitely it, Tony thought.

"Give up Steve." Tony pointed to Bucky. "See? Even your _boyfriend_ knows it's over." In for an immature penny, in for a pound.

"Or what? You're going to use your special weapons on me? You gonna blow me to smithereens because I'm not gonna blow you ever again?" Steve was laughing now. Laughing as if what they had shared for that short time before all this had happened, was a joke to Steve. Tony was glad his face was hidden behind a mask now more than ever. It was on between them, but as long as Steve didn't know just how much, Tony had a good, no, great chance to see this through.

He was about to cut Steve deep with his next remark but then Bucky appeared from his brooding place, all of a sudden approached and then sidestepped Tony like he was some sort of an irrelevant statue and... went on to ruffle Steve's hair?

"What's wrong Jerkface," Bucky asked, a strange childlike fondness coloring his voice. "Did you broke your favorite pen? Come on, ma's made a pie!" And he grabbed Steve by the arm, but Steve didn't budge, which made Bucky sadface until the outer corners of his eyebrows almost touched his jaws.

Tony gasped involuntarily. This was unreal and the suit made it hard for him to try and pinch himself. He turned to Steve and could see that the resolve on his face, as well as his posture, only further hardened.

"Spare me Tony. Now you know. And you will help us." His face was stony, his shoulders set, but Tony could see a tiny fraction that looked like pleading in his blue eyes, or was that his wishful thinking, running on whatever it was he was still feeling for Steve? Tony cursed. Was this really all it took? Not that he ever meant to use Eat and Me, those anti-tank missiles he showed off proudly just moments ago, but the whole plan, one that included Captain America and Winter Soldier demolishing one of his best, most expensive suits, was set up to securely bring in Cap's murder friend and consequently Cap too. No fucking around, serious business. And now, looking at those two super soldiers, one of which was gesticulating wildly and talking excitedly about an older brother making a see-saw horsey for them to play with, he didn't know what to think. Until one single thought crystallized, one single question that warranted him opening his faceplate and asking it Steve eye to eye:

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" He turned to Bucky though, and said in a soft voice:"It's ok, I'll be Miss McCoy first and you can race on Silver to save me from the train." The guy beamed at him, it was heartbreaking.

"That you won't blow me anymore?"

Steve just looked at him disbelievingly, Tony looked back at him sadly, knowing in the deepest depths of himself that whatever the answer might not be, he was going to help Steve, a tiny evil voice in his mind supplied: "because you liked all the times he did do it" Tony mentally blew the tiny voice to smithereens with both Eat & Me. He and Steve just stood there, looking at each other for a big moment.

"Whatever, how do you want to do this?" he heard himself say at the same time he almost didn't hear Steve's quiet but resolute "No."

His smile was brief but it outgoofed Bucky's previous by a mile.


End file.
